Contradictions. They both frustrate and intrigue me.
I think far too much. Hence this.
Yet I’m rarely able to come to any sort of conclusion. Hence this.
Sometimes I feel like a really shallow, self-centered person.
But I like the person I’m becoming.
I don’t want to do anything school-related right now, but I know that I’m going to be out of school for an undetermined amount of months in less than two weeks, and I’ll hate it. I’ll be restless and jobless and directionless, and it will annoy the fuck out of me.
But I’m about to make a major change in my life, and I have no idea if it’s good or bad, but god damn if I’m not excited. New state, new college, new people.
Someone want me, like me, enjoy me, as much as I do you. Please?
I’m really picky when it comes to my friends. If I like you, I adore you.
I really fucking want Chinese. Or Italian. Or something that’s been deep-fried. Or just all three. I don’t want the food I have.
However, I had some spectacular strawberries covered in Nutella today. Also, a brownie, yummy rice with cream chicken soup, and a tuna, sririacha, and tomato sandwich.
I’m just really pissed that I haven’t had sex yet.
But first I’d love to fall in love. I often wonder what it’s like.
I judge. It’s awful.
Yet I just want people to be their honest, straightforward selves. Tell me what you think, what you want, what you like, what you are.
I usually become attracted to the person as a whole. It’s rare that I find people I don’t know attractive. I want to know more about you. Your secrets, your dreams, how you work.
However, Gerard Butler is ridiculously sexy.
That self-aware awkwardness if fucking adorable.
So is confidence. Swag.
I’m not spiritual. I’m not religious. And luck isn’t something I really believe in.
But I do I read my horoscope every day, and you better believe 11:11 wrings a wish from me every morning and evening. There’s a concrete hope in wishing, in wanting.
I hate heights. The idea of falling, how uncontrollable it is.
I love roller coasters, cliffs, jumping off of things, and more. I would do anything to be able to skydive. The sheer adrenaline compares to little.
I’m freakishly private. Don’t pry.
But, like all narcissists, I love sharing things about myself.